The Body

The human body is an amazing thing, capable of so much that I will never fully understand. My body does not feel so amazing, but instead strongly dislikes me at the moment. I have been sick for almost two months. This cold has moved from my chest to my head, back to my chest, into my ear, and its latest move has been into my throat. I want to feel healthy...I don't really remember what that feels like. The reason that my body is sicky is because my defenses are working over time trying to deal with the stress that has been looming over me. I have experienced more drama in my job in the last few months then I have watching a complete season of The Bachelor...and that is saying something. I hope that this stress ends soon...I don't know where else my can get a cold...maybe my pours.

Let Them Eat Cake!

This past weekend Reid and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary! We pulled out the cake that has been sitting in our freezer for a year and dug in. It was great too!

For our anniversary we decided to travel to Rockford, IL and have a nice dinner and then go to a Rockford Ice Hogs game. The Rockford Ice Hogs are a minor league hockey team that are the farm team for the Chicago Blackhawks. During the time I lived in Rockford and became a fan of the Hogs and throughly enjoyed going to the games.

The game was awesome and it made me reflect on our last year in marriage, like any great hockey game will do :) The Hogs were playing the Peoria Rivermen and it was a game that the Hogs were expected to win. The score at the end of the 1st period was Hogs-0 Rivermen-3...ouch. I was bummed. It seemed hopeless. The Hogs pulled out a score in the 2nd period making the score 1-3 at the beginning of the 3rd period. Still it did not seem possible with the way that they were playing that a win was going to occur. Then something spectacular happened...the Hogs scored and just before the end of the final period they scored again! So the game went into overtime 3-3. In hockey the overtime rules are sudden death, whoever scores first wins. The time ran down and no scores were made so then it goes to a shoot out. The whole crowd was on their feet screaming and yelling, the energy was so uplifting. It took 9 rounds before the Hogs were declared the winners...and the crowd went wild. Even though the odds were against them and people like myself had almost given up, the Hogs pulled out the win!

This year has been tough in many ways. Not because of our relationship, but because of all the craziness that this world likes to throw. When your relationship is built with the knowledge that God is the strength it seems that no matter what the other team has scored, at the end there is victory. Everyday I am thankful that I married my best friend and I am so glad that we suit up for this game of life together.

A book in the mail

Last week was tough....
My car was totaled, bad/crazy things were going down at work, I was stressed about car shopping, and was just stressed in general. Because of the stress I was getting headaches every day...not a fan :( Now my intention of this blog is not to sound like "woe is me" although I would understand if it was interpreted in that way. My intention is to express thanks and reflect on how acts of kindness help a person climb out of the hole they feel they are in.

I got home from work and in the mail was a package from my sister-in-law. Its contents contained the book Girl with A Pearl Earring and a nice note. My sister-in-law saw this book and wanted me to read it before my trip to Holland this spring. I was so touched that she thought of me.

After a night of car shopping Reid and I went out to eat at a fantastic place called Sweet Tomatoes. While I was standing in a cashier's lane a nice stranger gave me two coupons to use on our meals. It was a simple gesture that was unexpected and much appreciated.

I am so humbled by the kindness of others. I know that big things/events matter, but all the little things help us to put the big things in perspective.

The Angry Goose

So one night I suggested that my husband and I go for a run the next morning. Things like exercising always sound like a good idea at the time, but when the alarm goes off at 5:30 am I can not think of anything that sounds less appealing. Now if my plan was to run alone I could have easily convinced myself to hit the snooze, but since my husband was going skipping out of the morning run committment was less likely to happen. So like a child I pout and whine desperately wishing that my husband will just say forget it. He doesn't. So we run.

Now about a quarter mile into our run we go by a large retention pond that usually has fog hovering over it. By the pond there lives a very grumpy and angry goose. The goose kind of reminds me of the troll in the story of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. Now we don't have to cross a bridge like in the story, but we do have to worry about this goose's disposition.

The first encounter we had with the goose startled us. It was dark outside and we had not noticed Mr. Angry Goose until he was right there. The second encounter was one of mistaken identity. As we approached the pond I heard a hissing sound that I thought was a snake, but low and behold it was Mr. Angry Goose attempting to chase us away. The last few morning runs our friend Mr. Angry Goose has not made an appearance. Maybe he was able to hit his snooze button and continue to dream of chasing the annoying runners away at 5:30 am.

Maggie Mae aka Mag Pie

If anyone has seen Marley and Me I am sure that you remember the ending words...
Something to the effect of "Dogs don't need fancy cars or houses. Give them your heart and they will give it back".

Last April Reid and I adopted Maggie from Rover Rescue, a shelter in Aurora, IL. I had made up my mind that I wanted a dog and luckily for me Reid went along with it. Maggie was found starved and neglected. Her malnurishment caused her growth to be stunted which made her appear younger then she really was. The posting for her on adopt a pet.com said that she was a 4 month old beagle, but when she was taken to the vet they discovered that she was between 6-7 months old. She was completely emaciated, you could count her ribs by just looking at her and her hip bones stuck sharply out. At Rover Rescue try to place dogs in foster homes instead of keeping them in a shelter. When I called Maggie's foster parents I was informed that she was sick due to the neglect she suffered and would be in need of a lot of spoiling and attention. I assured the foster parent that we were prepared to do just that, love Maggie.

How did we ever live without her?


My favorite part of the day is watching Maggie's reaction to Reid coming home. You have never seen any being so excited as she is.

Everyone who has met Maggie loves her, how could you not?!

A Tradition in Honor

Last summer I was questioned about a tradition that my husband upheld before he asked me to marry him. The tradition being that Reid informed my father of his intentions to ask me to marry him. Now the question I was asked was if I was offended and felt as though Reid asking my father for my hand in marriage made me feel like less of an independent person. This specific question has ran through my head from time to time and it usually get my heart racing and my blood pressure marching upward. Even now as I am writing my hands are shaking. I guess I feel that I need to address my true feelings about the tradition in question.

1. Questioning - There are many things in this world that need questioning, but the issue of a man informing his hopefully soon-to-be-bride's father of his intentions to marry his daughter is not one of those things.

2. Independence - I will never claim to be an independent person and I caution anyone who is trying to become or claims to be "independent". I am dependent. Dependence is how we are connected as God's people. I don't think we need reminding of what happended when Adam and Eve wanted their independence from God...do we? We can not move forward or grow as individuals if we do not rely on the support and guidance of others. As a person why would you want to take on the label of "independent" when all that really means is that you think you are fine to stand alone...which you can't, no one can.

3. Honor - When my father talks about the moment when Reid ask him if he could have his blessing to marry me, my father lights up. My father in that moment felt honored. He was also so excited that he knew Reid was going to ask me to marry him before anyone else...information that he kept topic secret even from my mother. I am so blessed to have a husband that wanted to honor my father in this special way.

4. Relationship - The tradition of asking for a daughter's hand in marriage goes way back and I believe that it started because daughters were connected to dowry's and in order for a man to ask a woman to marry him he had to get permission from her father. The tradition of that has continued, but the meaning behind it has changed. Today this tradtion is about a relationship between a father and his future son-in-law. Reid got to share an exciting beginning to another chapter in his life with my father, a moment neither one of them will soon forget. They did not talk about money or land, but instead talked about a promise that Reid wanted to make to me.

5. The final say - No matter who asked my father for my hand in marriage, I have the final say...plain and simple.

So to answer the above stated question: I am not offended by honor, respect and a strong relationship. Instead I am lifted up by my husband's gesture because when you honor my father, you honor me.

Mo Money Mo Problems :)

People who say that there is no difference between marriage and being in a committed relationship while living together are in my opinion mistaken. The biggest difference I have found is the finances.

Now I should also mention that I married a man who makes financial planning an art form...well kind of. Going through the "books" for the month is quite the spectical. He has created so many spreadsheets regarding our finances and he password protects almost every cell so there is no way that his non-financial savvy wife can accidentally delete whatever formula he has conjured up. My husband meditates on how to save money and where money should be spent. He actually makes himself sick over a month in the red (which is the color of cell turns if we have spent more then we brought in). It's pretty crazy and actually quite impressive. I once asked him why we can't go off of the account information online, but he informed me that they can make mistakes so we must make sure their answers match ours.

When it comes to money I am the opposite as my husband...I spend it. I figure that spending money now on lets say a Bears Vs. Vikings and/or Packers tickets or tickets to a concert will have more value in memory then if that money was kept in a savings account. And don't even get me started on a savings accounts. It seems with our rate of interest it is actually more expensive to have a savings account then just stuffing our mattress with money. The rate is so low that I end up spending more in gas just driving the check to the bank. Of course where I get into trouble is when I go to Target several times a week and don't really know what I have purchased...yikes!

I figure some day our differences will create a healthy balance of our two extremes, but for now I am still looking for our copy of "Marriage: an owners manuel" that I am convinced is just lost somewhere in our storage room.

Presents to Presence

I love birthdays! A lot of people dislike the thought of grower a year older, but I am not one of them. I think birthdays are a reminder that we have been blessed with another year of life. Now if I ask my mother about my birthday she will remind me that she had no time to be given any kind of pain killers because I was in a hurry to be born and the nurse that was tending to my mother was a rare breed of evil. Through it all on July 11th, 1983 at 11:59 pm (that's not a mistake, I was almost a 12th baby) I was here.

Now, when a child has a birthday he/she is usually excited for presents. They have probably been giving hints to what they want and hope that mom and dad were listening. So when does it change, when do you go from wanting presents to wanting people present?

As Reid and I were on the train traveling down to Chicago this past Saturday (my b-day) I was thinking about spending time with people vs. buying them a gift. The last few years I have been trying to buy gifts for people that involve spending time with them vs. tearing wrapping paper off of a boxed present.

This past 4th of July weekend, Reid and I took my dad to Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs take on the Brewers. Now the seats weren't the greatest, but my dad didn't seem to mind. To think of it, I am not so sure how well he could even see the field with how is eye sight is, but I suppose the atmosphere of that place is felt more then anything. It was a great night. The Cubbies won and my dad got to hear the crowd sing "Go Cubs Go, Go Cubs Go! Hey, Chicago what do ya say, the Cubs are gonna win today!" Now whether you are a Cubs fan or even a defeated Brewers fan, it is something to hear when the stadium sings that song over and over again :) You can't box something like that up and wrap it.

So I guess my thought for this year is to try and continue the presence over present mentality. Give people time

My people pleasing strikes again!

I just don't get some people. They are never happy unless they are complaining and making others feels like dirt on their shoe. This feeling of anger and frustration stems from my day today at the daycare.

There is a mother who believes that her child is the greatest and God's gift to mankind...seriously. Now I understand that parents are biased when it comes to their children, but no one is perfect. So this mother thinks that her two year old daughter is way too advanced for the likes of her current teachers (mind you both of us morning teachers have bachelor degrees, experience in the field and this particular mother has a high school diploma, but whatever). This mother had to have her daughter moved up to the two year old room two months before she turned two, because she is so gifted yet what this child has in academic learning she greatly lacks in social awareness and skills...however, don't forget that her child is the best ever. Now she doesn't think that we are teaching her anything so she has threatened to pull her daughter and find another center. Let me explain that every day we have educational components to our curriculm, but no it is not algebra or chemistry...oh yeah the children are two!!! (side note: this is also the mother that is a teacher's aide yet her child continues to go to daycare all summer and during all breaks during the school year)

Now I don't care if this mother dedcides to take her child out and find another daycare, because I know that she will never be pleased, but this parent never confronts the teachers. Instead she goes around and tells others how her complaints. I wish that I didn't care and I could chalk it all up to the that that this individual is crazy, but it just bothers me that people find it acceptable to act that way and to degrade others.

I still have my college statistics book...maybe I will bring that tomorrow.

Up

Reid and I went to the movie "Up" last night...a thumbs UP review!

I knew going into it that it was going to be good due to some good reviews I got from friends, but when the premise is about an older gentleman, a boy scout, and a house flying by balloons to South America it's hard to imagine where the movie will go or should I say "fly"! I don't want to spoil anything for those of you who haven't seen the flick, but the most endearing theme in the movie is Carl's (older gentleman) and his late wife's Ellie's life together. They always wanted to go to South America to explore, but days went by and soon life happened before they ever got the chance to live out their dream. There was an older gentleman sitting in front of us at the theatre, I would say he was easily in his late 80's or early 90's. In the movie when Carl is looking through a scrapbook of the life he enjoyed sharing with Ellie and during this scene the man in front of us started crying. The man he was with, I presume his son, grabbed his hand and just held on. I was very touched by this display. I wondered about the older gentleman's life and the woman that he lost.

This movie is great for all ages, but I am guessing that adults relate to it the most.

The word is "No"

I am a people pleaser and I really struggle with telling people no. The word is so simple, oh so simple. The problem with not being able to say no is that people usually take advantage of you. And it gets to the point where one can get resentful. So if people take advantage of someone who can't say no, is it their fault for continuing to use someone's niceness or is it the person who can't say no that is to blame. Well, I am sure that most will agree the fault is of the person who can't say no.



I feel selfish for telling people no. I feel like if I say no then I am disappointing that person and I would rather be put out then have someone else be.



So is there any advice out there....

It's the little victories

I work in a daycare. I am paid to be a parent. Some day, if Reid and I are blessed to have children, I will look back and think how great it was to be paid to be a parent. Although I don't like the politics of the specific daycare I work at or should I say the YMCA it is housed in, I love the kids and my co-workers. For the last two days I have been working in the infant room...yikes! This is the one room that I am afraid of. The reason is due to an undiagnosed slight case of OCD. The mess is never cleaned up, someone is usually crying, a diaper usually needs to be changed and a bottle is in the wings. The ratio in the infant room is 1:4. I think that this approach is totally wrong, there needs to be more of a man to man defense or double coverage.

So in all of the craziness of caring for multiple infants I found victory...

There was a child this afternoon that was in rare form. She was crabby, there is no other way to say it. She was changed, still crying. She was fed, still crying. She was in a vibrating chair thing, still crying. She was held, still crying. And so on and so forth for about 40 minutes. The crying never stopped, but just got louder and more shrill. For the last 15 minutes of the screaming I held the child. I stood up and swayed, bounced, and just held her close. She continued to cry, but what she needed was comfort so I give that to her. Now I don't know what a three month old child has to stress about. Maybe she didn't like her outfit, hair, or maybe one of the other babies looked at her wrong...I am not sure what her beef was. After that 15 minutes the crying stopped. Now I had not noticed that it stopped until my co-worker pointed it out to me. She was not sleeping, but was content with my feble attempt to comfort her. Within the next 10 minutes she was out.

I spent the next twenty minutes sitting in the rocking chair with her as she lay sleeping in my arms. It was a victory. Maybe a small one, but a victory none the less.

Emotional Attachment...to hair

Ok, so I admit it openly...I am emotionally attached to my hair.

I think the main reason for it is due to a short hair cut when I was a kid. Now I am not talking about a cute short girl cut, but instead a not so cute boy cut. So due to that I have this issue with cutting my hair too short and most importantly I am very particular about who cuts my hair. During college I found an amazing stylist in Brookings, SD. Her name is Jessica and she cuts and colors my hair just the way I like it. Well it was very convienent to have her do my hair while living in South Dakota, but I call a 9 1/2 hour commute a bit much. However, that is what I have done for the past 3 1/2 years while living in Illinois...I commute to Brookings, SD for my hair. Call me crazy, but it's true. Now of course I would only get my hair done when I was already planning on visiting family, but still it was getting a little ridiculous.

I have tried a few other stylists in the area, but I was just not impressed. So I am happy to say that after several years of looking I have found Jessica's equal! :) Her name is Laura and she works at Ginger Roots salon in Geneva, IL. She is great, amazing and coincidentally she lives in my neighborhood. Plus her and her hubby were married on Oct. 18th, 2008 as well. I suppose it is meant to be. Now of course I will still show my loyalty to Jessica and The Ritz in Brookings, SD, but now I can have my hair sprused up more then twice a year!

It has been a great hair day for Alysha Hamann

http://www.gingerroothairsalon.net/

My Best Friend

Most people can't say that they married their best friend. A lot of relationships start off the bat without the history that a friendship brings and there is nothing wrong with that, but when you start a relationship with someone who you have been close friends it adds an interesting dynamic. Usually in a new relationship the couple will put their best foot forward. They get dressed up, clean their house/apartment, and answer questions to put themselves in a good light. When you have already had a friendship, that person has seen you after a day or so with no shower, has seen your apartment look like a war zone, and knows that you drink more Mt. Dew then any one person should in a day.

I wake up everyday feeling so blessed that I married my best friend.

Reid and I met in college right after I moved to South Dakota from Wisconsin. I didn't have a car so Reid would always let me borrow his and I am pretty sure he never took money for gas. Throughout college we were friends and I could always count on Reid for an intellectual conversation and due to our opposing opinions (democrat-republican, packer-viking) the conversation was never boring.

I remember when things started to change for me. Spring of 04', my junior year in college, my friend Sarah and I would go for walks at night and usually end up at Reid's house due to the fact that it was on our route. I remember during one of our walks I said to Sarah, "I think I'm starting to like Reid."

Now it wasn't "and they lived happily ever after", but it was the start of an amazing relationship.

This is our first documented picture May 2004

So I figure that it is time...time to publish my thoughts :)

I entitled this blog "With Hope" because when you have hope there are always possibilities and promise. Any situation approached with hope has can have a positive outcome.

So with hope I sign off.