Mo Money Mo Problems :)

People who say that there is no difference between marriage and being in a committed relationship while living together are in my opinion mistaken. The biggest difference I have found is the finances.

Now I should also mention that I married a man who makes financial planning an art form...well kind of. Going through the "books" for the month is quite the spectical. He has created so many spreadsheets regarding our finances and he password protects almost every cell so there is no way that his non-financial savvy wife can accidentally delete whatever formula he has conjured up. My husband meditates on how to save money and where money should be spent. He actually makes himself sick over a month in the red (which is the color of cell turns if we have spent more then we brought in). It's pretty crazy and actually quite impressive. I once asked him why we can't go off of the account information online, but he informed me that they can make mistakes so we must make sure their answers match ours.

When it comes to money I am the opposite as my husband...I spend it. I figure that spending money now on lets say a Bears Vs. Vikings and/or Packers tickets or tickets to a concert will have more value in memory then if that money was kept in a savings account. And don't even get me started on a savings accounts. It seems with our rate of interest it is actually more expensive to have a savings account then just stuffing our mattress with money. The rate is so low that I end up spending more in gas just driving the check to the bank. Of course where I get into trouble is when I go to Target several times a week and don't really know what I have purchased...yikes!

I figure some day our differences will create a healthy balance of our two extremes, but for now I am still looking for our copy of "Marriage: an owners manuel" that I am convinced is just lost somewhere in our storage room.

Presents to Presence

I love birthdays! A lot of people dislike the thought of grower a year older, but I am not one of them. I think birthdays are a reminder that we have been blessed with another year of life. Now if I ask my mother about my birthday she will remind me that she had no time to be given any kind of pain killers because I was in a hurry to be born and the nurse that was tending to my mother was a rare breed of evil. Through it all on July 11th, 1983 at 11:59 pm (that's not a mistake, I was almost a 12th baby) I was here.

Now, when a child has a birthday he/she is usually excited for presents. They have probably been giving hints to what they want and hope that mom and dad were listening. So when does it change, when do you go from wanting presents to wanting people present?

As Reid and I were on the train traveling down to Chicago this past Saturday (my b-day) I was thinking about spending time with people vs. buying them a gift. The last few years I have been trying to buy gifts for people that involve spending time with them vs. tearing wrapping paper off of a boxed present.

This past 4th of July weekend, Reid and I took my dad to Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs take on the Brewers. Now the seats weren't the greatest, but my dad didn't seem to mind. To think of it, I am not so sure how well he could even see the field with how is eye sight is, but I suppose the atmosphere of that place is felt more then anything. It was a great night. The Cubbies won and my dad got to hear the crowd sing "Go Cubs Go, Go Cubs Go! Hey, Chicago what do ya say, the Cubs are gonna win today!" Now whether you are a Cubs fan or even a defeated Brewers fan, it is something to hear when the stadium sings that song over and over again :) You can't box something like that up and wrap it.

So I guess my thought for this year is to try and continue the presence over present mentality. Give people time

My people pleasing strikes again!

I just don't get some people. They are never happy unless they are complaining and making others feels like dirt on their shoe. This feeling of anger and frustration stems from my day today at the daycare.

There is a mother who believes that her child is the greatest and God's gift to mankind...seriously. Now I understand that parents are biased when it comes to their children, but no one is perfect. So this mother thinks that her two year old daughter is way too advanced for the likes of her current teachers (mind you both of us morning teachers have bachelor degrees, experience in the field and this particular mother has a high school diploma, but whatever). This mother had to have her daughter moved up to the two year old room two months before she turned two, because she is so gifted yet what this child has in academic learning she greatly lacks in social awareness and skills...however, don't forget that her child is the best ever. Now she doesn't think that we are teaching her anything so she has threatened to pull her daughter and find another center. Let me explain that every day we have educational components to our curriculm, but no it is not algebra or chemistry...oh yeah the children are two!!! (side note: this is also the mother that is a teacher's aide yet her child continues to go to daycare all summer and during all breaks during the school year)

Now I don't care if this mother dedcides to take her child out and find another daycare, because I know that she will never be pleased, but this parent never confronts the teachers. Instead she goes around and tells others how her complaints. I wish that I didn't care and I could chalk it all up to the that that this individual is crazy, but it just bothers me that people find it acceptable to act that way and to degrade others.

I still have my college statistics book...maybe I will bring that tomorrow.

Up

Reid and I went to the movie "Up" last night...a thumbs UP review!

I knew going into it that it was going to be good due to some good reviews I got from friends, but when the premise is about an older gentleman, a boy scout, and a house flying by balloons to South America it's hard to imagine where the movie will go or should I say "fly"! I don't want to spoil anything for those of you who haven't seen the flick, but the most endearing theme in the movie is Carl's (older gentleman) and his late wife's Ellie's life together. They always wanted to go to South America to explore, but days went by and soon life happened before they ever got the chance to live out their dream. There was an older gentleman sitting in front of us at the theatre, I would say he was easily in his late 80's or early 90's. In the movie when Carl is looking through a scrapbook of the life he enjoyed sharing with Ellie and during this scene the man in front of us started crying. The man he was with, I presume his son, grabbed his hand and just held on. I was very touched by this display. I wondered about the older gentleman's life and the woman that he lost.

This movie is great for all ages, but I am guessing that adults relate to it the most.

The word is "No"

I am a people pleaser and I really struggle with telling people no. The word is so simple, oh so simple. The problem with not being able to say no is that people usually take advantage of you. And it gets to the point where one can get resentful. So if people take advantage of someone who can't say no, is it their fault for continuing to use someone's niceness or is it the person who can't say no that is to blame. Well, I am sure that most will agree the fault is of the person who can't say no.



I feel selfish for telling people no. I feel like if I say no then I am disappointing that person and I would rather be put out then have someone else be.



So is there any advice out there....

It's the little victories

I work in a daycare. I am paid to be a parent. Some day, if Reid and I are blessed to have children, I will look back and think how great it was to be paid to be a parent. Although I don't like the politics of the specific daycare I work at or should I say the YMCA it is housed in, I love the kids and my co-workers. For the last two days I have been working in the infant room...yikes! This is the one room that I am afraid of. The reason is due to an undiagnosed slight case of OCD. The mess is never cleaned up, someone is usually crying, a diaper usually needs to be changed and a bottle is in the wings. The ratio in the infant room is 1:4. I think that this approach is totally wrong, there needs to be more of a man to man defense or double coverage.

So in all of the craziness of caring for multiple infants I found victory...

There was a child this afternoon that was in rare form. She was crabby, there is no other way to say it. She was changed, still crying. She was fed, still crying. She was in a vibrating chair thing, still crying. She was held, still crying. And so on and so forth for about 40 minutes. The crying never stopped, but just got louder and more shrill. For the last 15 minutes of the screaming I held the child. I stood up and swayed, bounced, and just held her close. She continued to cry, but what she needed was comfort so I give that to her. Now I don't know what a three month old child has to stress about. Maybe she didn't like her outfit, hair, or maybe one of the other babies looked at her wrong...I am not sure what her beef was. After that 15 minutes the crying stopped. Now I had not noticed that it stopped until my co-worker pointed it out to me. She was not sleeping, but was content with my feble attempt to comfort her. Within the next 10 minutes she was out.

I spent the next twenty minutes sitting in the rocking chair with her as she lay sleeping in my arms. It was a victory. Maybe a small one, but a victory none the less.

Emotional Attachment...to hair

Ok, so I admit it openly...I am emotionally attached to my hair.

I think the main reason for it is due to a short hair cut when I was a kid. Now I am not talking about a cute short girl cut, but instead a not so cute boy cut. So due to that I have this issue with cutting my hair too short and most importantly I am very particular about who cuts my hair. During college I found an amazing stylist in Brookings, SD. Her name is Jessica and she cuts and colors my hair just the way I like it. Well it was very convienent to have her do my hair while living in South Dakota, but I call a 9 1/2 hour commute a bit much. However, that is what I have done for the past 3 1/2 years while living in Illinois...I commute to Brookings, SD for my hair. Call me crazy, but it's true. Now of course I would only get my hair done when I was already planning on visiting family, but still it was getting a little ridiculous.

I have tried a few other stylists in the area, but I was just not impressed. So I am happy to say that after several years of looking I have found Jessica's equal! :) Her name is Laura and she works at Ginger Roots salon in Geneva, IL. She is great, amazing and coincidentally she lives in my neighborhood. Plus her and her hubby were married on Oct. 18th, 2008 as well. I suppose it is meant to be. Now of course I will still show my loyalty to Jessica and The Ritz in Brookings, SD, but now I can have my hair sprused up more then twice a year!

It has been a great hair day for Alysha Hamann

http://www.gingerroothairsalon.net/