Modern Pioneer

There is no covered wagon, but the journey begins. 

I have known that my husband was put on this earth to be a farmer ever since he took me to his parents' farm.  Even as we studied at Crother's Engineering Hall at South Dakota State University I knew that his passion involved not sitting behind a computer for the rest of his life, but being outside working a half section of land.  His passion did not change when I married him over five years ago. So if I have not made myself clear, I married a farmer.

Me on the other hand...

I was put on this earth to enjoy air conditioning.  I strongly dislike being outside unless the weather is perfect, but even that can be ruined by a few bugs.  I have a healthy fear of cows and for some reason I associate farm machinery with missing limbs.  Also, my idea of "gardening" is remembering to water the house plants that have been given to me over these past few years.  There are two that have survived my neglectful caretaking ways.  I was not put on this earth to work the land.  My husband did not marry a farmer. 

This spring we are taking the trail back west to try our hand a farming in South Dakota.  Now I say "our hand" because even though my husband will be the one farming, with a career change like this comes a lifestyle change as well.  And also because when I say that "Reid is farming" my hubby politely corrects me and says, "We are farming honey". 

To put it simply I am terrified.

I did not grow up on a farm.  Saying I know anything (which I don't) about the ways of farm life is like someone without children saying then know anything about parenting.  Until you have experienced it you have no idea.

I can't say that  I will hate it or that I will love it.  So it is because of the uncertainty that I stomp my feet and hold my breath (much like my two year old son) when faced with the change.

I guess the best way to describe my feelings about this new journey is to compare it to winter in the Midwest.  Every year winter comes.  It is not a surprise or shock since every year of the 30 years I have been alive there has been snow that has fallen from the sky and cold in the air.  Every single year.  Still every fall there is a period of mourning.  The loss of warmth outside and not wanting the change of the seasons to happen.  I don't love the idea of winter, but then I look outside and the reality of the quiet peaceful blanket of snow warms my spirit.  That blanket is the blank canvas for what will grow in the spring.  New life and new possibility.

I get so caught up in why this is not for me that I don't take the time to see this move for what it is...an opportunity for God to warm my spirit.  This is my blank canvas with new possibility. I just hope that the spirit warming can be done indoors with no bugs :)